2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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