If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
