ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
