Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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