we're chasing vodka with high fives
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
