could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
