I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
