Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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