Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
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Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
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therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize