I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
