Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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