Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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