I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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