I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
