We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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