Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
