Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
