wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
