They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
