Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so let's talk penis.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Everything about him screamed your future.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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