i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Randomize
