hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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