you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
