I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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