We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it's like heaven, but drunker
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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