she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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