It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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