So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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