this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
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I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
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Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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