I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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