It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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