Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
