I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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