I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
