I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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