I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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