Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
