I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
