Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
