At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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