How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
