someone threw a dead crab at me
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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