508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
