The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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