yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
