I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
