I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
