Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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