C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
