you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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