I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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