I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
