I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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