It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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