she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
