I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
