i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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