the day after is always just damage control
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
