oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
