My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
