Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
