she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
