Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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