Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
