Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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